Contraire Creations
by bkaddictjk
Summary: This is a portfolio of the poems that were mentioned in the books written by Trenton Lee Stewart. I thought that we would all like to actually read the poems, so Constance finds a box with all her poems written since the first book on her seventh birthday. Read her poems with The Mysterious Benedict's Society! Titles, verses, and stanzas from the book are in bold.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : This is my first MBS fanfic, and I really didn't think about posting these poems on here. When I first read the books, I finished the poems that Constance wrote, that were mentioned in the books, and then forgot about them. I made my FFn account about 6 months later, and then thought about posting them here! I really hope that you enjoy this, and remember that the words marked are taken from the book!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own The Mysterious Benedict Society. (Why do I even have to write this? Isn't the fact that it's on ****_FFn_**** enough of a disclaimer?)**

Chapter 1

Constance Contraire, age six(-and-three-quarters), was digging around in her very messy room. It was very late, but she had something to find. As she kept searching in rushed, hurried motions, Constance couldn't help but wish for the old days of The Mysterious Benedict Society to come back, so that Kate would have had the room sparkling clean, and easy to navigate.

Number Two, (or as Constance called her, Pencilla) had long since given up on trying in vain to keep the room neat and orderly. Constance never minded, since she was not the one to care much on her surroundings being neat, but still frowned as the box she was finding refused to come into view.

"When did I last take it out?" she wondered out loud. She checked the clock and saw that it was thirty minutes to midnight. She would have to go to bed soon, she didn't want to be tired tomorrow. For the first time in quite a few months, the Mysterious Benedict Society would be meeting in Constance's room again. All four of them, Reynie, Kate, Sticky, and Constance herself would be celebrating her seventh birthday. She would have to visit Mr. Curtain after they left, but at the prospect of having a party with her oldest and closest friends, she had not complained quite as much as she normally would have. Three years had passed since they had defeated Mr. Curtain and The Whisperer, and everything was peaceful.

Even though Reynie was just on the first floor, Kate's room only a few minutes away, and Sticky just across the street, they rarely got together and talked again like they used to. Kate, Reynie, and Sticky were in high school now, and while Reynie would finish his homework easily and have a lot more time for relaxing with Constance, Kate was struggling to maintain a B average. Constnce shuddered to think about when she would have to endure high school. Although she did suppose that she would get top marks in the English literature and composition classes.

Just when she decided to go to sleep and search for it the next day, Constance spotted the box hidden behind a pile of dirty laundry. She snatched it up and placed it beside her bed, and soon went to sleep, her face showing a content smile of anticipation.

* * *

"Constance!" Kate Weatherall called. She banged into the room and almost immediently tripped over a cluster of pencils, "Wake up!"

Constance blearily blinked open her eyes, as she woke up. She looked down to see a bouncing blond, blue-eyed, teenager smiling down at her. "What?" she asked grumpily.

Kate grinned, "Still the same today, aren't you Connie-girl? Thought you'd be a little less grumpy on your birthday!" Constance saw that Kate had on the usual jeans and shirt, but had thrown a jacket because of the cold weather. She had tied her hair up into a ponytail so it would not get in her way. Her red bucket was, as always, hanging from her hand, even after three years of not needing it. She wondered what Kate's friends at her school would think about it, then realized that Kate wouldn't care. Kate never cared what others thought about her, and she had Reynie and Sticky at school. They had most certainly come to respect the bucket, as it had saved all of their lives on at least one occasion.

"You would be grumpy too if you were woken up like that," Constance grumbled, but she felt slightly more cheerful as she saw Kate. She slowly got up and started to get ready for the day.

Kate grinned, "Moocho's baking the pies," she informed Constance as she burrowed around a stack of crumpled papers for a matching pair of socks, "and Sticky might be here in a few minutes." Kate looked around the room. The towering piles of dirty laundry, pens and pencils lying around, a lot of candy wrappers, and even more pieces of paper with half written poems on them. She frowned, "Maybe I should help you clean up a bit?"

Constance rolled her eyes. Kate took it as a yes, and started whirling around the room like a very talkative tornado.

"It was not this messy when I came up here the other day, what did you do? Have a tamper tantrum? You are getting a little old for them now," she said thoughtfully, "You're going to go into second grade soon."

Constance did not want to be reminded that she was growing up, which sounded ridiculous, even to her, because it was her birthday. She quickly changed the subject, "Well, I guess I should wear something warm, since it's going to be snowing today in the afternoon."

Kate nodded, the sky outside was a cloudless, grayish-blue, but she knew that Constance's prediction would come true. They all had long since gotten used to the predictions for the weather. No one ever turned on the Weather Channel. "Excellent," Kate said happily, "we can have a snowball fight!"

"Aren't you supposed to be studying for that history quiz?" Constance asked, finally finishing the bottom button of her sweater.

Kate shrugged, "I can do that tomorrow, and Reynie can help me. What are we going to do for your party? Play games? Or just eat pies?"

Constance shook her head, "I don't know."

Kate sighed as she adjusted a coat rack absentmindedly, "It's your _birthday_. Surely you thought of something exciting to do!"

"I had an idea," Constance trailed, "in fact, I think that Reynie and Sticky will like it."

"What?" Kate asked curiously.

"Remember when we all just met for the first time?" Constance asked, and Kate nodded. "I wrote a lot of poems, and Pencilla's been saving them for me in this little box," she pointed at the box. "I found this yesterday, and thought that we could go through it and stuff."

Kate looked around the clean room, her blue eyes sparkling, "That's a great idea! Let's go and get Reynie!"

Then, hastily taking Constance's hand, she rushed out of the room.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang.

**My chapters are usually longer than this, but since this isn't a story, it's just a collection of poems written by Constance, I decided to just give the general setting and finish it there. I'm sorry, but there are not going to be any parings in the story, because I don't think that Kate and Reynie are really that right for each other, much less Kate and Sticky. I actually think that Reynie would be (personality wise) better with Constance, but she's way too young for him, so, NO parings!**

**Tell me what you think about this fic, I will take flamers, but constructive criticism is the best in my opinion. Oh, and I take compliments really well too. Haha.**

I'm editing the chapter~ and clearing up all the typos and things... I'm sorry I haven't been updating, but I've got writer's block...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Nothing much to say, except thanks for booklover613 for reviewing first! I'm really sorry it took so long, I have so much homework… that I keep procrastinating.**

**Disclaimer : I do not own The Mysterious Benedict Society.**

After the Washingtons had arrived, the adults had rushed to the kitchen. Even in the wide mansion, no one needed directions, as they were all familiar with each other. At any rate, all they had needed to do was fallow the delicious smell wafting from the kitchen as the booming laughter of Moocho help guide them.

Meanwhile, another group decided to go up to Constance's (thanks to Kate) now clean room. To an outsider, this would be a strange foursome; a tall, blond girl practically radiating confidence would be hard to find with two boys that were clearly smart and bookish people. Including a short, rounded, seven year old mixed in with the teenagers, and even a one-year-old infant would be able to see that this was a unique friendship held together with a unique bond.

Constance was sitting on her bed, and the others were sitting down on the floor, Kate and Reynie happily exchanging familiar greetings to Sticky.

Sticky had turned very different, no longer bald, he had a short, neat haircut, but he still wore the usual spectacles. Constance cleared her throat, "I want to start the reading!" she said.

Reynie and Sticky looked up from their conversation about a particular chess game, "Okay," Reynie said, "What's the title?"

Constance flipped open the box and peered inside, then carefully took out a dusty sheet of paper, "All Offense Intended," she read, a small smile on her face.

Kate laughed, "That sounds like you alright! When did you write this one?"

"During the test," Constance said, "when we all first came here."

All Offense Intended

Impossible, laughable, sad, and ridiculous,

tragic, too much, weird and preposterous,

"This starts off on a good note," Kate said sarcastically.

"Well, these are really good adjectives," Sticky said, "just… not very pleasant ones."

"I'm guessing this is about the test?" Reynie said.

"You guessed right," Constance said, whiting she had some candy, "but you usually do."

the list keeps going and going,

so long, so pointless and boring!

My pen cannot take a rest!

For the list of adjectives describing this test -

is unending, I have to write, jot and scribble,

phrases such as 'making me drool and dribble.'

This test is full of idiotic facts and trivia,

Sticky looked taken aback, "Actually the questions are all about important historical events or needed scientific facts! They also had a selection on some vocabulary words that you would like, Constance -"

He was cut off by Constance yelling out the next words.

that no person should know unless they were born in Kalivia.

Sticky looked offended, "I wasn't born in Kalivia. That's not even a real place."

Constance rolled her eyes, "I know, the line said, 'no person _should_ know' so no one _should_ know, because no one was born in Kalivia."

"There isn't a Kalivia!" Sticky said, frustrated.

"My point exactly," Constance said smugly.

Reynie was laughing, "That one was really good!"

"What do you mean by that?" Constance snapped. "All my poems are good!" she insisted.

"Yes," Kate admitted, exchanging a glance with Sticky, "but they're also kind of insulting."

Sticky and Reynie nodded, Sticky added, "They're also mostly about us."

Constance shrugged, "It's funnier that way," she said, "there's no point in insulting someone you don't know." She grinned, "Here's another one. I wrote two poems during that test. It took forever, for it to be over!"\

"Stop rhyming and just read," Kate said cheerfully, which caused Constance to glare at her before reading.

Wrong Rules Do Not Rule

"Nice alliteration," Reynie said carefully, "but that's a little hypocritical of you, isn't it?"

Constance huffed, "What makes you say that?"

"You were breaking the rules just by writing this poem," he pointed out, "we were supposed to take the test."

She stuck her tounge out at him childishly, (she was still a child) before continuing.

If that's not enough, see what else is odd!

The rules!

They aren't like any peas in a pod.

With a hole in the middle,

like a broken old fiddle,

reminding me of a nut made of dough,

Hollow is to it, 

as jiggly is to Jell-O!

The rules, and their **flaky bereft**,

evokes me and enrages me 

to remember that **bakery theft**!

"That must be the rhyme that Mr. Benedict liked so much," Sticky commented.

"When?" Constance asked, momentarily distracted.

"Before we all met, when you were in the maze," Kate laughed, "having a picnic."

Rules that break the rule of order,

makes as much sense 

as a banana peel hoarder!

"Banana peel hoarder?" Reynie asked incredulously, "Banana peel hoarder?"

"Yes," Constance sai cheekily, "banana peel hoarder."

I've scrawled down my thought(s),

and written my reasons 

and expounded a lot

of why I would rather become a Hollywood dancer,

than to follow the rules 

and read all questions and answer,

and why I would rather eat a bowl of hay

than to take my pencil 

and circle an A!

"That was a good one too," Kate said.

"Didn't I say that all my poems are good?" Constance asked.

"Well, our version of 'good' is going to mean that it didn't insult any of us in any way," Reynie said.

Constance shrugged and turned the page, grinning at the next poem, "Then the next poem is going to be really bad for you three."

**No plot, it's a Reading the Poems fic! I've always wanted to do a RTB fic, but they're being taken down, so I went along with these… I hope you people like it! Please review, I'll take flamers.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : I was going to turn in, but I decided that the time was ripe for an update. I hope you like it, because it's midnight, and tomorrow's a **_**Monday…**_** :(**

**Disclaimer : I do not own MBS. (Duh)**

"Reasons For Why I Won't Practice a Stupid Code with You Three," Constance read out happily.

Sticky and Reynie looked exasperated, while Kate had an apprehensive look on her face. "I remember this one," Sticky said. He didn't look top happy about that.

"So do I," Reynie said, frowning.

Kate frowned too, but not because of the same reason. "I don't remember a poem like this… " she trailed off uncertainly.

"It was after Mr. Benedict told us we had to use Morse Code," Sticky reminded her reluctantly, "and we had to practice, remember?"

Kate merely looked her confusion.

"It was about the gargoyles," Reynie added slowly. A look of understanding slowly appeared on Kate's face. Constance was the only one looking happy about the poem.

"If we're all finished, I'll keep reading!" she said gleefully. Everyone else sighed.

There once were some gargoyles,

"I still don't know why you compared us with gargoyles," Sticky complained, "there were a lot of other insulting terms to choose from."

Constance shrugged, "Gargoyles don't exist, they're mythical creatures; so they're the most insulting."

Reynie sighed, "I agree; gargoyles were the best metaphor that she could have used."

Kate looked exasperated and amused at the same time, "I'm sure I'm going to regret asking, but what does gargoyles being mythical creatures have to do with them being insulting?"

Constance looked at her with an obvious look on her face, "You are gargoyles. Gargoyles don't exist. Therefore, you don't exist. Get it?"

Annoyed, Kate huffed and turned to Reynie for his explanation. Reynie said patiently, "Since they don't exist, you use your imagination to picture what they're like. And since everyone pictures gargoyles to be ugly, gray-ish, stupid creatures, it becomes the person's very idea of unpleasantness."

"Oh, and that too," Constance nodded smugly.

Kate looked disgruntled, "That was actually clever," she muttered to herself. Then out loud, "Just keep reading."

they were an odd bunch.

Very bossy gargoyles,

that ate cat food for lunch.

"Again, why _cat food_?" Sticky asked with a funny look on his face.

"Are you going to keep interrupting every few sentences?" Constance asked grumpily.

"I was just wondering -" Sticky started to ask, but Constance interrupted him.

"And you'll wander forever because I won't answer you."

"Why not?" Sticky demanded.

"She won't answer you because she doesn't know _why_ she picked cat food," Kate said bluntly, "so keep reading!"

They stupidly sniggled,

while picking their ears,

"Charming," Reynie said, making a face.

and greasily giggled,

and licking rare deers.

"_Rare deers_?" Sticky asked, yet once again, "Why?"

Constance ignored him.

The first was called Kateena,

"A.k.a. Kate," she added. Kate wisely choose not to say anything.

it was an acrobat.

"Huh," Kate said, surprised. "That wasn't so bad. Isn't that actually a compliment?"

It did flips, leaps, stands, and swings,

"Again, isn't that a compliment?" Kate asked, bewildered. Constance continued with a wide grin.

then slipped and it went splat.

"Ah, that makes much more sense," Kate nodded.

"I wondered where the unpleasantness went for a moment there," Reynie agreed.

Next was Reynardo,

"So it's my turn," Reynie said. He was actually excited to know what words Constance used to insult him. Even with his exceptionally good memory, he still forgot the exact wording of the poem after all the years. After all, he wasn't Sticky, and had no photographic memory, although it came quite close.

who could use its tiny brain,

"If your brain is tiny, I'd hate to see what mine looks like," Kate laughed.

but it was befuddled a lot,

"Yeah," Sticky said, "but you were the one to figure it out first because of that."

Kate nodded, "Worrying about everything when the rest of us was having fun."

"In life threatening situations, it pays off, all the worrying," Reynie said defensively.

and needed to be taught,

so its head was always in pain!

"Is my part over?" Reynie asked, grinning.

"Yes, now we're going to move to Sticky," Constance said.

Sticky grimaced, "Lucky me," he said dryly.

Last left was Georgette,

"Why do I get a girl's name?"

"It suits you."

"Thanks, Constance. Thanks a lot."

it recited, repeated, wrote, and read-ed,

Sticky groaned, "_Read-ed_?"

"I was three," Constance insisted, "and I liked to make up words. Oh, and I thought it would annoy you."

"You thought right," Sticky said grumpily.

and knew lots of things that would never be needed.

"Okay," Kate laughed, "she's got a point there."

All day, night, and afternoon,

Did I mention that it is a loon?

"Thank goodness," Sticky said. "Is it over?"

"I don't know why you're complaining," Constance said, "That was one of my best poems."

"I think it might have something to do with the fact that the poem was insulting us," Reynie said lightly. "Why don't we go down for lunch before we read any more poems?"

"Good idea," Kate said. "I'm starving."

Constance looked thoughtful, "I wonder if they'll let me have candy for lunch since it's my birthday?"

"They didn't last year, or the year before, and they won't next year, so probably not this year," Kate answered. "Cheer up, Conny-girl, Moocho has pies!"

**I'm just giving a reminder… I like reviews. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own the Mysterious Benedict Society.**

"Well?" Milligan asked, as they entered the kitchen.

"Well what?" Kate asked cheekily, as she slid into a seat, grabbing a still-hot plate.

"What did you four do upstairs?" he asked good naturally, as he beamed at his daughter.

Kate, about to answer him, was distracted by a wondrous sight. In the center of the table, there was a truly magnificent cake. In fact, the word 'cake' hardly did it justice. The cake was a mix of all the things Constance liked; mainly sweets and candy, with splashes of dark chocolate in it. And, although he could not be sure, Reynie thought that he could see some globs of different flavored ice cream in the middle. On the top, in colorful, bright, creamy icing, the words _Happy Birthday Constance _ was written in a squiggly blue print.

"It looks wonderful, Moocho," Mrs. Washington said warmly, "You really outdid yourself."

"Constance," Number Two reprimanded, "wait until we sing you the birthday song!"

Constance took no notice as she plucked off a milk chocolate shaving from the cake. Number Two opened up her mouth to tell her off, but apparently thought better of it. After all, it was her birthday. After the birthday dinner, where Constance was happily surprised to get a large bag of candy from Kate, ("You said there wouldn't be candy!" she accused angrily, while carelessly unwrapping a strawberry toffee to pop into her mouth.) a book of poetry from Sticky, ("I already read this at the library," she sniffed as she gleefully drew a mustache on a small mouse that was eating cheese.) and a small clay statue of her younger self wearing the red raincoat from Reynie ("I was _not_ this grumpy looking!" she said grumpily.).

They soon retired to Constance's room once more to read more poems.

"Here's two of them on one sheet," Sticky said.

Hurry Up!

"Could've said please," Kate grumbled.

"Hurry up!" Constance said. "All we did was read the title and your already interrupting."

**There once was a ninny called Reynie,**

"Why does it have to be about me again?" Reynie sighed.

"You're fun to annoy," Constance said.

Reynie glared at Kate when she nodded in agreement.

**who thought there was one choice too many,**

"'Many' and 'Reynie' doesn't exactly rhyme," Sticky pointed out.

"A poem doesn't always have to rhyme," Constance countered.

"But you say that it's the best part," Kate said.

"It's a half-rhyme, isn't it? It's good enough!" Constance argued.

**because he was wimpy,**

"I resent that," Reynie said.

"Well, you were," Constance said. "So nervous and always worrying most of the time."

"Our lives were in danger most of the time!" Reynie said.

"You were still being wimpy."

and also very skinny,

"I give up," Reynie grumbled.

"You can't argue with the truth," Constance said, "you need to eat more candy." She threw a chocolate ball at him. It bounced off his head.

"Ow!"

"You did another half-rhyme," Sticky realized as Reynie ate the slightly-squashed ball of chocolate.

"It's a pattern."

He couldn't choose between a dollar or a penny.

"That's it," Sticky said.

"What was the poem about?" Kate asked.

"I think this was written to annoy me into choosing Option B during the Prisoner's Dilemma exercise," Reynie said. "I never did get to here the rest of the poem because you guys interrupted with the vent stunt."

"You've heard it at last," Kate joked. "How does it feel?"

"Not very good," Reynie said.

"Well, there's another one on here," Sticky said.

**A/N: Thank you guys for being so patient. I really appreciate it. This chapter is dedicated to **Ailavyn Siniyash** because the review got me motivated~ Thanks! I'm not over my block, but I'll probably be ending this fix soon~ Please review!**


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